So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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