Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
