office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize