This girl is more easily done than said...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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