I will die if light touches me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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