Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
