i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
