Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I puked a lego.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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