I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
