We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
