where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
