She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
