Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
