FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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