Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
