Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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