all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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