yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
