There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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