If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
