Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
