it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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