I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
