Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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