Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
