this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
