He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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