This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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