So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
