therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
