Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
