He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
