I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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