Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
