I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this will be a night to untag.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
