hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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