We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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