i don't plan on having that self control this summer
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize