There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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