Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
