Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
