you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
