why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just puked most of my soul out..
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