so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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