Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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