I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
