YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
