Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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