I must be too annoying 4 u.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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