Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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