After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I deserve to be covered in dicks
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
