There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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