I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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