Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
