we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
