how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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