3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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