My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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