I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
