I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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