There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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