im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
